Sarah: Our heroine. Little to no bullshit tolerance.
Mrs. Eggntater: Mean old bat.
Boss: Sarah's boss. Mostly decent. Has the good sense to stay away from Sarah when she is wielding sharp objects, live ammunition, or a soldering iron.
Dude: We're not sure what Dude's real name is. Even Sarah isn't certain, and she went out with him for a few years. His birth certificate may well say "Dude" on it. His parents were surfers, after all. Nice guy, but a couple tiles short of a double-word score.
Gramma BFG: A kind little old lady whose hobbies include knitting, baking, and Quake. The Anti-Eggntater.
[PWDL]: Person We Don't Like. An unusual character, in that it is not any one specific person. If you think it's you, it probably is.
Asshat: A meaner, nastier, and/or dumber form of [PWDL]. Again, if you think it's you, it probably is.
Rob: Allegedly A+ certified. Does not know a modem from a video card from his ass from his elbow from a hole in the ground.